Disappointments & Choices

Thank you for your many prayers for the parent/child interview. Unfortunately it did not happen. We asked a friend that night if she knew if it went alright and she said that "they didn't go today." The director's assistant told her that the appointment wasn't until the 16th.

My heart sank and I shared the email from the embassy showing the date of the 12th, not the 16th. We emailed our adoption coordinator and shared the news and our concerns that this was the second time this had happened. He responded this morning saying the assistant informed him that she had lost the embassy email. He told us he would ask for a third appointment and that he would request it for when he would personally be in Haiti. That way, if needed, he could be the one to take them to the appointment. He let us know that if this third appointment does not happen and Nephtali's mother does not make it to the embassy, we could have some big problems.

Also several families heard news last week that they received dispensations. What a mix of emotions going through our hearts. On one hand, we shout for joy for the families that are one step closer. And on the other, we cry out in pain as we were not one of them.

There are so many things God teaches us through the adoption process. Not being self-centered is one of those things. My human side wants to pout and demand that our daughter and our family be the most important thing. It's all about US. I want it now. I don't want to wait anymore. Now! Now! Now!Us! Us! US!!

But even through the disappointment and pain I can see past that little human monster. My Lord and Savior is first! It's about Him and His Glory. His purpose. And then it's about others... a part of God's great plan just as much as we are.

So I choose not to be mad at the mistakes made. I choice FORGIVENESS instead. I choose not to worry and panic at what could happen. I choose TRUST instead. I choose not to be envious of progress for others. Instead, I choose JOY.